New Year, Old Me.

I know that it might be a little too late for me to write a New Year’s post but I’ve been super busy and this is my first chance of me writing a blog post up in weeks. For some reason, I’m quite speechless about 2016. What a year. It flew by so fast and I still can’t believe the amount of good and bad things that had happened. I guess I could say that 2016 was the worst of times and the best of times and it all happened in a rush. So many things have happened to me or for me, from studying at two different universities to going back to my home country for over a month. Overall, without any sugar coating, 2016 left me exhausted and stressed out.

Somehow within a year I managed to evolve into a different person at different times. And I’ve only realised this while reading my old blog posts yesterday. I believe the person behind the old blog posts was the real me and now I guess one of my resolutions for 2017, is to find myself again. I have to admit that some people want me to change but I only ever wanted to change for myself. However, the ironic thing is, is that I have already changed, I just need to be my true self again. I know that I’m not a bad person, I’m just human who makes mistakes. I know that sometimes my own mistakes could affect others but most of them were never intentional or within my own self-control. I also realised that I need to take control of myself again. Thankfully I was reminded that I am in control of my own happiness and I don’t have to let people affect my well-being and that I don’t need validation or happiness from other people. And again, I just need myself.

I really don’t know what I want for 2017. I never actually thought about my New Year’s resolution and it's strange because I normally do. Perhaps for this year I just want to find myself again and from there, I will think about the short-term goals I would like to achieve for this year. Right now, I need to figure out how I have changed and reapply the good attributes I once had. Maybe I still have those good attributes but lately, I don’t know who I am when I look in the mirror. But thankfully I am okay and I am still able to go about with my everyday life.

However, I do know that I will continue blogging and hopefully more frequently (I’m so sorry!). I also have long term goals I have in mind and I can’t wait to share them in the future. In the meantime, I’m still waiting for people to get back to me for the Paua Series and I will blog and maybe make vlogs (if I ever figure out how to edit videos) about my five-week holiday in Malaysia.