Paua Series: It is Written.

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“No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah’s decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from it you cannot flee.” - ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab

Last year I thought I had lost my MAC Velvet Teddy lipstick at the zoo but a year later while I was on holiday doing my makeup at a hotel in Indonesia, I found it, or more like it just somehow appeared right in front of me. And a couple years before that, my gold bracelet had somehow broke and I searched high and low to find the small missing pieces and it was only when I said 'bismillāhi r-raḥmāni r-raḥīm' ("In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the most Merciful") the pieces appeared right in front of me. Stuff like this always happens to me. And it makes me really believe that if something is meant for me, it will come back to me or that nothing in this world can stop something from coming my way.

In Islam, we call fate or Allah’s decree, Qadr. Our fate was already written for us even before we were born, however, our prayers or the duas we make are always fighting with our fate. It is said that our prayers will be answered or granted in three ways: in this life, in a better form or in heaven. Nonetheless, we as humans have plans but God has bigger plans for us. And we need to have full tawakkul or trust in God’s plan.

I have to admit that I have gone through a lot of hardships in my life, however, God will never burden a soul in which they cannot bear. And it’s true because, with every hardship that I have gone through, I always end up okay or even better at the end. It might have taken a lot of time to heal but through the process of healing I learnt how to be more patient, to let go, to forgive, to be stronger and to move on with life. And so whatever comes my way, either good or bad I have trust that there is underlying wisdom that I can learn from or grow from.

Even when you tear its petals off one after another, 

the rose keeps laughing and doesn't bend in pain. 

"Why should I be afflicted because of a thorn? 

It is the thorn which taught me how to laugh." 

Whatever you lost through fate, 

be certain that it saved you from pain.

~ Rumi, Petals

To be honest, my previous boyfriend had always accused me of wanting to break up so easily. And it is true because it has always been that way. If I am honest with myself, the idea of breaking up is easy. It is because I love God more than I can ever love another human being and also because I believe in His plan and the destiny he has for me. Therefore, letting go is easy for me once I remind and convince myself that if something is meant for me, never in a million years will it be for someone else and nothing in this world can stop it from happening. If it is good for me in this life and for my religion, it will be easy and it will always be meant for me. However, if it is bad for me and for my religion, I pray to God to turn my back from it and let my heart be at ease once I let go.

Nonetheless, I still have no idea what God has in store for me. Looking back at my past, it feels like anything can happen. I have no idea if I am prepared for things that might happen or how I will respond but what I do know is that all the things that have happened in my life were meant to happen. In ways, I am really excited as well as optimistic with the plans written for me. No matter what happens, I will keep smiling through the good or the bad and I will keep having faith and hope because God knows a lot better than I do.

"No matter what you’ve been through, it is written. No matter what you know, it is written. No matter what you do, it is written. Put your trust in Allāh ﷻ" -Unknown

And so the person I will end up with or who you will end up with is already written.