Life Goes On And So Should I

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In my last blog-post I talked about letting go. Before you can move on it is so important for you to let go. Once you let go, it is only then that you can really move on.

I know that sometimes we are scared to let go. We are afraid that there wouldn’t be anything better. That it was more comfortable for you to hold on to something familiar. Maybe we get scared that we will never again get what we just had. We believe that if we keep holding on, the feelings that came with the person or experience will suffice you. But it won’t, instead, you will always feel a void.

They say that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. But I can tell you this. Everything that you felt and experienced, it was all very real. And maybe you will feel or experience the same thing again or maybe you never will. Or maybe you will feel something even better. But how would you know if you remain stuck and numb?

I can also tell you this. You still have this moment. You don’t know what could be if you don’t make the most of your precious time. Don’t let most of your time go to waste on something you can never ever change- your past. You still have this life to create more memories. Move on so that you can feel and experience again. You can't change or take back the past but you can change the path of the future that you rightfully deserve.

You need to let go for yourself. You will only be hurting yourself in the process if you haven’t.

Letting go is the hardest part. Once you have let go it should be easy. If you find that it’s hard for you to move on it’s probably because you haven’t let go just yet. You know that you have let go when you feel contentment. There is a peace. A joy. A sense of a new beginning when you do.

Life is really about the choices we make. Even if the event was outside your own control, you have the choice to how you will respond to it. You also have the choice to give yourself the permission to move on. All you have to do is give permission of what is hurting you to leave. And once it leaves don’t go chasing because chasing is a sign that you haven’t let go.

Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop.
— Rumi

Just like the tree that lets the dead leaves drop it doesn’t ask them to come back. The leaf is dead. It can’t do what it was meant to do anymore, which is to make food for the tree to grow. The tree knows that a new beginning will surely come, it knows that new leaves will form in order to let the tree grow. So why should we chase or hold onto someone or something to come back or stay when they have nothing left to help us grow as a person?

In a story/article about to monks and a woman it reads:

A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.

The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.

Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his 

The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them.

Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”

The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river. Why are you still carrying her?”

This simple Zen story has a beautiful message about living in the present moment. How often do we carry around past hurts, holding onto resentments when the only person we are really hurting is ourselves.

We all go through times in life when other people say things or behave in a way that is hurtful towards us. We can chose to ruminate over past actions or events, but it will ultimately weigh us down and sap our energy.

Instead we can choose to let go of what doesn’t serve us anymore and concentrate on the present moment. Until we can find a level of peace and happiness in the present circumstances of our lives, we will never be content, because ‘now’ is all we will ever have.
— Ahlhalau

Once you have let go, now is the time that you can move on. The best part is that you now have a better perspective of the situation. And when you do and with patience you realise that something better will come your way. In the mean time, it is best to focus on yourself in order to prepare for what is to come. 

There are a lot of ways that you can move on. You could start by learning to love yourself again. Or discover yourself. To focus on that goal or dream of yours. To travel or to even go back to university. Moving on is all about growth. And I can promise you that it will feel great. Instead of using all that energy dwelling and being sad, you now have all of that energy to making you into a better person. Because in all honesty, no matter what it is that you are holding on to, it doesn’t have any greater value than you. It’s time to be selfish and use your energy on things or people that helps you be your greatest version.   

Sometimes you can slip. And it’s okay for you to feel upset again one day. But only let it just be one of them days. Feel what you feel. Think about why you feel the way you do. Then respond to it. Moving on is gradual process, it won’t happen overnight. It takes time. Healing takes time. But don’t keep hurting yourself in the process or you will never heal. When the wound is open, you need to cover it so that you can heal faster. If you keep exposing the wound, it could lead to an infection that can spread to your whole body. Don’t let your sadness spread to your whole being or your days or even youth. Tend to your sadness because being sad all the time will stop you from moving on.

All in all, be kind to yourself. And be patient with your fate. At the end of the day, you’re still alive and it just shows that you have the courage to just keep on going. Trust in God, the universe or whatever you believe in. And trust the process. Trust that everything is working in your favour. Because it really is.

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Nurul ShamsulComment