Dear Yantie, Love Yantie. (2019)
Dear Yantie,
What a year 2019 has been. Today you realised that nothing ever in your life has ever went out to how you had planned it. You plan but Allah is the best of planners.
This year you have:
Graduated within two and a half years of studying
Recited poetry on television for a charity show
Went back to your roots (Malaysia and Indonesia) to learn more about the culture, history and language
Learned more about your religion
Went to two music festivals and concerts with performers that you always wanted to see
Felt grief for the first time with the death of your grandfather
Witnessed miracles and felt the love and mercy of God
Faced challenges which made you even more resilient
Spent more time with your family and baby cousins
Celebrated Eid for the first time in nine years with your family
Did a talk to inspire young girl leaders with #Girl2Leader
Met so many amazing people
Learned how to live with less (simplicity)
Experienced so many moments of pure joy
Travelled South East Asia with your best friend
Ticked off Angkor Wat from your bucket list
Read more books than you have had in years
Was featured on the cover of a magazine
Took a much needed six month break
Did a Tedx talk in Indonesia
Worked at two different organisations that resonates with your values
Went to Indonesia to find your grandfather’s family home with only using your grand uncle’s name
Learned to love yourself more and what it means to love
Now when I look at all of the highlights of this year, cumulatively, you’ve done so much in 2019. And this doesn’t include some of the things that you can’t even fathom.
I am so proud of you. Because I know that you have tried your best in everything that you do and have done this year. And this year wasn’t at all easy.
You know that people wonder or talk and ask what you are doing all the time but remember, it doesn’t matter what people think. All that you had intended for this year was to focus on yourself and to live a life of simplicity. There were so many behind the scenes work and valuable moments that doesn’t always have to be shared for the rest of the world to see.
You also fought battles within yourself. There were times when you felt like depression, worry and loneliness were going to overtake you since you moved to a new country. But it amazes me to see how far you have come and the resilience you now have. You had every reason to be upset and you could have chosen to be upset for weeks or even months on end but you chose to continue to live your life. And you continue to do so with so much hope and trust with God.
With the Christchurch attacks and the death of your grandfather, you also learned of the love and mercy that God has, even in times of hurt and pain. But I know that you are still healing and that’s okay because healing does take time.
Now you understand that in the end, it’s only Allah that you can turn to and it is only from Allah which sustenance is given. Yantie, just remember that Allah is always enough for you.
You now realise that this dunya really is the lowest form of place and that anything God gives means nothing to Him. Truly He can will anything to happen and only if it is good for you.
Admittedly, it can be hard to accept things because sometimes you want to control situations. But ultimately, it’s out of your hands. As humans, our perceptions are so limited but God’s love, abundance and mercy are limitless.
At the start of 2019, your new year resolution is to live a life of simplicity and to focus on the things that really matter to you and gives you joy. Some of this year’s highlights may be simple but they are the very things that gave meaning to your life and helped you grow this year. Simple things can be meaningful by learning to appreciate the little things and be grateful. Now because of it, you have experienced so much joy this year.
Now that we are going into 2020, you have caught yourself several times reminiscing the past lately. That’s when you realise that nothing you had planned in the past had ever happened the way you had wanted it to. In fact, you realised that they are far better than you could ever imagined it to be. Alhamdulillah.
Ten years ago you would have have only been twelve years old where you didn’t know what was going to happen to your life. Now at twenty-two, you still don’t exactly know. It’s scary but it is also exciting at the same time because anything is still possible. InsyaAllah.
Two thousand and nineteen was nothing like you had ever expected it to be. But you had come to acceptance and I pray that He guides your heart for what is to come in the new year and decade ahead. Amiin.
Love,
Yantie.
