The Power of Understanding
Alhamdulillah, this time last year I did my first TEDx talk. It’s funny how during our Halaqa session today we talked about the power of prayer and while I’m writing this I couldn’t agree more. For years I have been watching TED Talks and felt inspired by every one of them. Then at the start of 2019, I remember making a prayer of wanting to do a TEDx talk- especially in Indonesia where I wanted to talk about something I was passionate about.
In 2018 I met this lovely girl called Zainab who I always try to meet whenever I am in Indonesia. Previously she had invited me to talk for For the Children Indonesia about online bullying. When I was back in the area again in 2019, she asked me if I could do a talk at a university. At first, I was hesitant because at the time I had wanted to go back to New Zealand with my bestie Antonia. Not to mention, the topic was on ‘Hybrid Society’ and I honestly had no idea what that even meant.
Then one day I received an email that I was invited to do a TEDx talk in Indonesia and I was so confused. I never signed up to do it and I couldn’t remember someone mentioning that they were nominating me. Then it all clicked. And when I did a google search on the topic, I realised it was everything that I wanted in the prayer that I made. Alhamdullilah.
So what is a Hybrid Society?
A society that comprises a range of social and cultural influences and components, rather than having a homogenous identity.
Doing a TEDx talk was a dream/prayer come true. It was daunting at first having to prepare a 16-minute speech where the bar is set high but at the end, I told myself that I was sharing an idea that I was truly passionate about: ‘The Power of Understanding’. In a multicultural and hybrid society/world that we are living in, it’s so important for us to understand one another and I hope from my TEDx talk, I managed to do so.
You can watch my TEDx talk or read the transcription below.
“The Power of Understanding: Unity in Diversity”
“Hello brother”,
Welcome to Al Noor- The Light,
In which darkness will never prevail.
We have been waiting earnestly for this day,
To meet with our Lord
And with His blessing he said “Be and it is”
Fifty one martyrs are beloved by God immensely
That they are honoured to be loved
By the rest of mankind.
Humanity mourns for them, for they, for us-Even the rain and autumn nights,
But there is a silver lining,
And the warmth from each hug of strangers and neighbours,
Of children and loved ones,
Of white, black and red
In which there is but one single eye of the needle
And it is through understanding that it can thread us together.
Understanding is a powerful thing.It can mend hearts.
It can bring peace.
And it can change the world.
And with every beautiful sunrise and sunset since,Each day we understand more and more
Each day our differences become smaller and smaller
And now the full moon is marvelled
By us.
Allahu akbar. God is most great.
Now the smell of blood has blossomed into flowers,Each laid gently and watered by tears,
As we silently pray for them to rest in peace-
Salaam,
Peace and blessings be upon you all.
We embrace in the divine notion of usIn this moment, we share what it means to be human.
And it illuminates the whole world
As we come together in solidarity as One.
Hundreds, thousands and tens of thousandsFlamed with our candles and our broken hearts,
Lighting up the darkness with love and compassion.
United. United. United.As one. As one. As one.
And not just for
Today.
Tonight.
Or Tomorrow.
But for every day....
InsyaAllah-With God’s will.
On 15th of March 2019, 51 innocent human beings had lost their lives. I wrote this poem in response to the Christchurch mosque shootings. It wasn’t easy to write and to this day, it is still hard to talk about. It’s hard to talk about because New Zealand has a close-knit Muslim community where we make up around 1% of the four million population. So the 51 people that were killed on the 15th of March is the equivalent of a 9/11 attack against New Zealand. Nonetheless, what inspired me to continue to do this talk is how tragedies like this can always be prevented through the power of understanding.
Everyone here as an Indonesian should be familiar with this term, Bhineka Tunggal Ika; the official national motto which means “Unity in Diversity”. Unity in diversity is so important for Indonesia because it is a hybrid society where it urges the country to be united as one.
With that being said, I am a walking and breathing hybrid society myself. My mother is Indonesian and my father is Malay with Indonesian origins. I have Indonesian blood within me and I was born in Malaysia but I was raised in New Zealand since I was five years old.
When I was in New Zealand, I grew up in a small farming town where I was the only Asian in my classroom and everyone else was mostly white Christians. However, there was a harmony that I had between my friends and myself, where we shared and adapted good values and traditions between each other. My white Christain friends were so grounded with their values that they were the very ones that inspired me and encouraged me to keep practising my faith and to wear the hijab in a western society.
Nonetheless, when I first arrived in New Zealand, I didn’t know any English. But of course, over time I would learn so that I was able to communicate and be understood. There is an Indonesian saying to this: “ Di mana bumi dipijak, di situ langit dijunjung.” Where the earth is stood on, there the sky is respected- in other words, wherever you are, follow the customs of the people in that place. However, we can still respect other people’s culture and adapt to what will be beneficial to us without losing our own set of values or traditions. But imagine if I didn’t learn any English at all, I would have been misunderstood for seventeen years and I wouldn’t have been able to spread my ideas.
The ideas I want to spread include empowering communities and liberating individuals through the power of understanding and embracing who you are. And that’s what I tried to spread when I competed in Miss Universe New Zealand. But now some might be thinking: what exactly was a Muslim hijabi doing in a western beauty pageant?
Well it was an interesting story because I had to overcome something that most of us fear: being different. Growing up in a western society as a minority, I rarely saw anyone that looked like me or I could relate to in the media. This means that I don’t meet conventional beauty standards. So during the beauty pageant, I definitely looked different from the rest of the girls, especially because I wear hijab. But I used my differences as an advantage because I wanted to create unity in diversity by giving a positive light on Islam. This is because we always see Islam portrayed as terrorists, backwards or oppressed in the media. So my intentions were to help break those boundaries and stereotypes that came with the stigma. I also wanted to encourage others to also overcome their fear of being different because differences is what makes society beautiful.
And I would like to point out that Indonesia is an example of how beautiful a hybrid society can be. Ever since gaining independence in 1945 after 350 years of struggle, Indonesia has followed a philosophy known as the Pancasila to unite the various ethnic groups within Indonesia and maintain national stability.
Indonesia by far is the most diverse country in the world. It the largest group of islands and is the fourth biggest population. There are 300 other different ethnic groups and there are more than 400 distinct languages and dialects. This diversity makes Indonesia a hybrid society. To unite this extraordinary diversity, on the Pancasila it says “Bhineka Tunggal Ika, Unity in Diversity.”
So Indonesia is not just beautiful because of its landscapes with its beaches and volcanoes. But also because of the unity in diversity which can be seen with the people, the culture, the buildings, the food, the history, the art. Everything. Since it is a hybrid society where differences makes society beautiful by inspiring creativity and enriching cultural growth. So every time I would come back to Indonesia I would get so excited. There are so many different cultures, that there will always be something new that I could learn.
My passion for learning about other cultures sparked when I was in New Zealand, as we have an indigenous group called Maori where New Zealand is also a hybrid society. So during highschool, I made the effort to be part of a Maori form class where they taught me so many beneficial values such as the importance of embracing who you are by using mana which is about honour, respect and legacy.
Although I have no Maori blood within me, I was honoured to be given a Maori leadership role as my own values resonated with theirs. I shown Manaakitanga which means extending love and compassion as it resonated with my Islamic values and I had also shown Kotahitanga which is the concept of togetherness and I had learnt this from the Indonesian and Malaysian value of being one.
I wanted to learn more about my Indonesian and Malaysian values so for the past couple of months, I’ve been travelling back and forth to get back to my roots. After growing up and living overseas for seventeen years, it has been interesting for me to realise all the different influences that have shaped who I am today. My identity has always been complex as a third culture kid. I have a clash of Eastern and Western, Malay and Indonesian, Islam and being a minority. However, now I realise that these clashes are what makes my identity unique.
I also realised that sometimes I do look at things or think differently than my fellow Malays, Indonesians and even New Zealanders. It doesn’t make me any better or any worse. Rather, these clashes gives me a unique perspective on many dimensions of life and it helps me to keep an open mind. I am then able to step outside of myself and the idea of who I am, even if it is just for a moment. Therefore, the way I shape my perspectives are constantly changing with the things I am exposed to and I have learnt.
I do believe that being exposed and learning about different cultures is the only way to find the meaning of life. To understand others different to ourselves but still understanding the fundamental idea that we are all human beings. And it’s only human nature to want to be understood and included in society.
Subsequently, hybrid societies creates inclusion through unity in diversity as there is tolerance of cultural differences. Therefore, hybrid societies are the way forward for the future. Because people are always migrating, people are being exposed and interacting with people from different cultures. You don’t even need to fly to another country. They could be your neighbour, your peers, colleagues or even the person sitting right next to you.
It’s all about making the effort to learn and to embrace others. Nelson Mandela once said, “No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” And this brings me back to the Christchurch attacks. The shooter only attacked because he learned how to hate others who didn’t look or had values like him.
Yes, racism is real and it is evident in all societies but it doesn’t mean that it’s acceptable as it could ultimately lead to violence. But we can help change the status quo by beginning with our ourselves, our families and our schools and what we teach our children.
While I was in high school, every day I would walk past a mural with a Maori proverb which said, “Kotahi te kohao o te ngira e kuhuna ai te miro ma, te miro pango me te miro whero.” There is but one single eye of the needle through which the white, black and red threads must pass.” This proverb has since been a part of who I am as it reminded me to connect with others and to work towards a common vision. I was reminded of this proverb when I met a non-Muslim mother at the mosque after the Christchurch attacks. She told me that she came there with her children to teach them to understand and respect differences. At that moment we both cried and embraced one another. Because we both understood the meaning of understanding.
Understanding is a powerful thing. It can mend hearts, it can bring peace and it can change the world. We are never too young or too old to understand- so learn and grow as much as you can and start those meaningful and important conversations with others. Change is only difficult because it’s so different from what we are used to. But it is the differences that make ourselves, our society and love unique. Differences should unite us, not divide us and it is through understanding that it can thread us together.
Nonetheless, I had never thought that a tragedy like this would ever happen in a little country like New Zealand but the love and support of New Zealanders have illuminated the whole world. This goes to show that when we are understanding and compassionate we can finally achieve unity in diversity.
But we don’t need another tragic event where innocent lives are lost to remind us of the power of understanding. What we need is ourselves to prevent it from happening again by making the effort to learn and embrace people that are different. Differences should not be seen as problems but answers to strengthen society.
Now, I would like to encourage everyone, especially the youth to bring about ways to create a more harmonious and understanding hybrid society. Why I’m targeting the youth is because it was the youth that realised the need of unity in diversity which ultimately led to the Independence of Indonesia.
If it wasn't for the youth who came together to pledge their allegiance towards a new “imagined community” where Indonesia is no longer segregated by their ethnic, religious, or cultural identities; then we would have not achieved Independence.
Remember, in 1945, Indonesia as an independent nation pioneered a hybrid society through the Pancasila to remind us of the value and importance of being one. Let us remind ourselves that while they were still young, our forebearers united everyone as Indonesians in order to achieve independence after 350 years of struggle. Now more than ever, Indonesia especially the youth needs to uphold unity in diversity and continue to be an example of what a harmonious hybrid society looks like. So we need to cherish the differences and treasure the culture. And we can do so through the power of understanding.