Paua Series: Soulmates and Destiny.

“when you meet that person. a person. one of your soulmates. let the connection. relationship be what it is. it may be five mins. five hours. five days. five months. five years. a lifetime. let it manifest itself, the way it is meant to. it has an organic destiny. this way if it stays or if it leaves, you will be softer from having been loved this authentically. souls come into, return, open, and sweep through your life for a myriad of reasons, let them be who and what they are meant.” ― Nayyirah Waheed.

I think that I have come across one or two soulmates in my life. My best friend Nadia (the one in the picture) is one of them. So soulmates may not be the idea that there is only one person that is meant for you and that you will marry. Soul mates could be anyone- your friend, significant other or family member.

A soul mate is supposed to teach you a lesson or they may just be someone you get along with very well in the beginning,  or it could be someone you have a strong connection with and in a hadith, it is narrated by `A'ishah, the Prophet's wife, that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with" (Sahih Al-Bukhari). Also when you meet them or first get to know them, it feels as if you know them from someplace else. That someplace else could be heaven. It is also narrated in a Hadith (book of reported prophetic sayings from the messenger Muhammad (pbuh,) that Abu Hurairah reported Allah's Messenger (pbuh) saying,

"Souls are troops collected together and those who familiarized with each other (in the heaven from where these come) would have affinity, with one another (in the world) and those amongst them who opposed each other (in the Heaven) would also be divergent (in the world)." (Muslim)

Also, God says, “There is not a single creature on the earth except that Allah takes care of its provision” [Quran 11:6]. This relates to soulmates and destiny (or Qadar in Islam) as it is saying that God has already made plans for you and meeting people and sharing connections are part of the plan. This plan was written before you were even born- who you will marry, is already written right next to your name.

So in a way, if you believe that the person God decreed for you is your soulmate, then that’s good. If you think, he isn’t because your relationship is not perfect or that you don’t get fireworks flying everywhere all the time, then that is still okay. It might just be our pop culture such as movies and romance novels that make us think that one of our main goals in life is to find someone who gives you perfection or fireworks. But this is reality- the real world; so it will not always be perfect. I’m not saying to settle; I’m just saying that you will marry who you will marry. Or maybe watch what Elizabeth Gilbert (from Eat, Pray, Love) has to say about soulmates: https://youtu.be/-Xpa7sqdQhQ

If you want to know more about soulmates, Shahirah might be able to help you here: http://www.shaelaiza.com/search?q=soulmates#.V_IllGPBbR0

I’m also not saying that the people I’ve dated or been in relationships with were all my 'soulmate' (for the majority of them, the connection was not there) but some did manage to teach me lessons. Nonetheless, the next couple of blog posts will be on what I’ve learnt from my past experiences/observations.

(N.B: Some of you guys might be confused because dating is not really allowed in Islam but Malaysians are quite liberal (in a way that being in a relationship is culturally acceptable)- so I’m quite liberal as well but I know what my limits are within Islam. Also, I will talk more about ‘destiny’ or Qadar, later on in the future to clear some confusions that you may have.)